Lara Gems (Larisa Okhrimenko) is a Russian-born Sydneysider, mathematician by training, corporate marketer by trade and founder of boutique gemstone jewellery brand Gems In Style by passion. Before she started her own business in 2017, she’s been working for more than 18 years as a communication and brand manager for global cosmetic companies in Moscow and then since 2011 in Sydney.
Me – Version 5.0: Lara, can you tell us how the change has happened? Was it planned or spontaneous?
Lara Gems: The change happened all at once. My daughter graduated from uni and left home to live on her own. The 50+ club happened around the same time. And I decided it’s time for me to try to do something different. So, it was a circle coming to some kind of completion in one sense. And in another sense something new started from scratch, like a new page. However, I wouldn’t say it was planned, I just followed an impulse. I had this very certain feeling that it was the right thing to do.
I was always working this intense corporate 24/7 work. So, all my life I have always been a part of a team in a big global company – a part of this huge ocean liner. My career was progressing. I was going from one level to another in the hierarchy, reaching a level somewhere close to the top. I loved my job. And it was an amazing company with fantastic people and teams. It was a creative job. I managed big international projects, brand integration into national film festivals, shooting ads in Europe, working with celebrities.
In the corporate environment we have all the resources at our hand – budget, people. We have a mindset of what is success and what is achievement, and how we measure them; all these plans, reviews, meetings, results, everything – it’s all printed in our psyche. And we don’t understand how much we associate this corporate context with ourselves. In this environment we use our strengths; we learn how to mitigate our weaknesses. We really learn to navigate, learn how to build something and how to express ourselves. And it is not just for the results of the business. It’s a big personal journey as well. But at the same time the important part of us is staying somewhere not required, not developed, not discovered. And what we think we are when we are within this rich corporate infrastructure is not necessarily what we really are.
The first call happened about 10 years ago. I had this moment, in Moscow. I remember I was getting to the office in the morning. I was in my corporate car, in the usual heavy traffic, standing for two hours, really excited to get to the office and start my day. It was like every other morning. And then I suddenly thought: “Is this all? Is this what I will be doing for the rest of my life? Yes, I love my job and my life is sorted out, but is this all there is to it? IS THIS ALL?” And I started thinking: “What am I without all this corporate context, without my professional role and my position?” It was curious and scary at the same time – “Do I actually know myself? Who am I? Why does it feel like I missed a very important story in my life – the story about myself? And what is this story? I know it exists and it can only be told through me and no one else.”
A year later I moved to Australia and continued to work in corporate, delivering fantastic results. Six years later I cracked because the intensity of the work brought me to the point that it became absolutely impossible to breath – mentally and physically. I didn’t have time to sleep. I didn’t have any life outside of work. I started pondering: “What am I running after? Why am I always like this? What drives me? What makes me stay in the office when all other people go home?”
So, I’ve opened this question and started waiting for what comes. I was trying to understand what I would do and all I could think of was MARKETING. And it was scary. I found it really scary that I didn’t know what I would do if I had a million dollars and didn’t have to work “for money”.
One day I was in my meditation class. So, I opened my mind and asked: “What is my true passion? What is it I must do?” And it all came! I opened my eyes and even looked around the room wondering: “Did people notice what just happened to me? How different I am now?”
So, something changed in me. It was a very weird feeling – like falling in love – you don’t care what happens, it’s just so cool! There was no fear of leaving a corporate career or a fear of failure.
This is how this idea of a jewellery business landed. I always loved to go to crystal shops to look at the gemstones. It amazed me how nature can create beauty like that and how much it speaks to me. I could look at all those crystals for hours. I would turn into a kid every time I saw them. I would visualise in my mind the designs of gemstone jewellery, but couldn’t find anything similar in the shops. It seemed like nobody had done what I was looking for, and that has triggered the beginning of the new chapter in my life.
So, I started. I did my research, bought a lot of gemstones and tools, developed my first collection and the website. I realised that I love creating new realities, new worlds – worlds where everything is harmonious and where you can tell your own story through the design and gemstones. You get this freedom to create your own Universe, constantly acquiring new skills while discovering yourself on the way.
The most difficult part is when you need to sell what you’ve created 🙂
So, that was a transition. And I am so grateful that life was moving slowly without pushing or forcing me. I didn’t have any regrets. I am lucky, I know. I know it’s not always the same for other people.
Me – Version 5.0: You are saying – that gemstones “speak” to you. What do they tell you? 🙂
Lara Gems: A gemstone can help to connect to something within you, or highlight something that is missing. It draws out the essence of you. Your relationships with different gems can be very personal. Through the gemstone you can express your own story and tell it to the world without words. And not just tell, but more importantly, understand it – what does your internal ‘storage space’ look like, what do you store on each shelf and what is most important for you now? This is what I show women – how to find and tell your own story.
Me – Version 5.0: What would you do differently now if you had to go through the whole experience again?
Lara Gems: When you start your business, you suddenly find yourself outside the corporate career context. You lose your status, which was very important to you. For more than a year I was going to corporate networking events just because I needed to put on my heels and business outfit. I felt elated every time I was putting it all on! First six months, every morning I continued putting my makeup on, because I was certain it was mobilising me. Eventually, it all started changing.
You have to give yourself time – time to change, time to gain experience, time to have the opportunity to make mistakes. So, don’t hope that someone will bring you a magical formula – it doesn’t exist.
Me – Version 5.0: Who/what supported you the most in the process of change?
Lara Gems: My husband was my biggest support. I wouldn’t be able to make this step without him. He is a very wise person. He can always reflect any situation back to me. For example, at the beginning he was saying: “This is not the right time to worry about sales. Take your time. Do what is important to build the right foundation for your business.” Sometimes I would not listen to his advice. I would go: “No, I feel I need to do this my way!” Because even if it is a mistake I needed to make it, so I can get the experience. After all, this is my experience and to me it’s priceless.
At some point he came and said: “I have some time now between the projects. Would you like me to help you?” I hadn’t even dreamt about it! His technical skills made a massive difference to my project. And we’ve realised that in our family we have all the required skills to support each other in business. And this is really exciting!
Me – Version 5.0: Often this kind of change is happening at the same time as the physiological changes. How was it for you? How did you deal with it? If still going, how do you manage that?
Lara Gems: This is such a big subject, especially for me. Marketing industry prefers youthful and vigorous people with a sparkle in their eyes. And this is what I always had (and still have) – a sparkle in the eye.
It was difficult for me to understand the cause of the changes – everything had happened at once. You lose your usual sharpness and drive. Why? Is it because it’s a new field and it’s difficult to navigate? Have you just eased off or simply don’t know where to run?
You lose your ability to get through the walls. You always had it! So, what is going on? Why is it no longer there? You were certain it was one of your built-in attributes, as if you were born with it! Apparently not! Turns out, it was just your hormone cocktail. Nature!
But your eyes still sparkle! And this is when it starts: “I don’t want to change; I don’t want to look like ‘some mature woman’. Give it back! It’s mine!“
Me – Version 5.0: What did you learn from your experience?
Lara Gems: I learned so many things about myself! This is when you make the step, going into an unknown space on your own, when you are telling your own stories and your own ideas begin to fall upon you. So, basically, you face a very different you and you are on your own. I am a person who needs to vocalise things and have someone to bounce my ideas against. So, I started thinking: “How am I going to find comfort in my solo journey now?” In the beginning my friends and colleagues gave a lot of support, they became my first clients; I’ve tested my first design concepts on them, I was constantly asking them for a feedback. But after the first year, we started losing this connection. So, I needed to bring new people into my life. I met people who were doing their own creative projects, entrepreneurs. I had to rebuild the social aspect of my life as well. And I am totally satisfied with the result now!
My approach to business changed. When I started it, I had numbers and plans. I wanted to achieve results. I wanted to have my brand in David Jones*. It was a new professional life, but my mental position was from the past – measurements, results… I wanted to match my previous success to this new one. I didn’t realise the huge difference between a big and small business, and a one-person business is a completely different story all together.
My priorities changed in these last two years, and my understanding of success and achievement has changed as well. I slowly understood that in a one-person business the actual process is already a result. It transforms you, forcing you to create a new map to navigate by. Not even create – discover it within yourself. A success for me now is writing my next blog or organising an event where I talk about design, gemstones and their esoteric qualities. The success for me now is an ability to sparkle curiosity in people and share my knowledge. And yes, It makes me very happy when I see people admiring my jewellery.
My financial independence was of the utmost importance for me – to be able to support myself without depending on anyone. I built my castle myself: child, property, career… I was in control. And then, something happened. I said to myself: “What if I just let it go? I already know how things have been. What if life brings me something new?” You start trusting life. And this is when you start seeing your new path, new purpose. And this is where your true story begins…
Gems In Style: Facebook page / Instagram
* Australian upmarket department store
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