Alina: The culture of writing blogs requires that you support your text with a couple of photos. This is a part of our wiring – we prefer pictures. When we started writing our blog, we noticed an interesting phenomenon – the photos of women that were ‘coming of age’ on photo stocks. Or rather, the absence of those photos. Curious, isn’t it?
I can probably predict your reaction. I am sure that most of you would think straight away: “What are you talking about? We see a lot of women of mature age on TV, in social media and lately even in advertising.” Except, you and I are not that ‘mature’ yet! 🙂 So, then, what are we talking about?
At the beginning we too assumed that it would be easy to find pictures that show women like us. But what does that actually mean – ‘women like us’? We started going through our own photos and we found it difficult to find photos that we liked, photos that would reflect our optimism and our wisdom (hopefully 🙂 ). Photos where we would simply like the way we looked. And this is not because we are gloomy or unattractive 🙂 people. For some reason most photos or videos (our first idea was to have a video blog) didn’t satisfy us – there was always something wrong with the lighting, an angle, or the face. It wasn’t just difficult. It was almost impossible! At first we were surprised and then started thinking: ‘why is that?’ Step by step we untangled this ball of emotions and reactions and came to the source of our dilemma – every time the image was unconsciously compared with the mental picture of us from previous times.
Lara: I seldom like my photos. There is always something wrong. But I’ve noticed that when I look at my ‘unliked’ pictures a few years later, I almost always think: “Actually I looked good!” I was 30, when I noticed it for the first time. And, as it keeps happening on a regular basis I know now – if I don’t like the way I look in a photo, I simply need to wait for a couple of years. 🙂
Alina: It looks like at some point we’ve created an ideal image of ourselves. And all following images are filtered to match this ideal, which they almost never do. Surprise, surprise!
This discovery was a revelation, and we plunged into social media to see the profile photos of our girlfriends and female acquaintances of our age group. And this is what we have discovered.
The photos of women, who run their business through social media, often were a masterpiece, carefully staged by a professional photographer with the involvement of a stylist, a makeup artist, and possibly Photoshop professional at the end.
Some photos had special effects like deep shadows or were slightly out of focus, or it was a group photo with family and friends where you couldn’t see the profile owner properly.
Other photos were taken during a formal event (a wedding or an opening night) reflecting hours and hours of preparation invested in the outfit and makeup. In other words – a well-planned impact.
We saw a lot of old-time pictures, sometimes from youth or childhood, where a person can be recognised only by their parents or classmates.
Some profile photos had no face at all …
Suddenly it became apparent to us that these women, our friends and social acquaintances, start hiding themselves. Hiding – maybe unknowingly – behind shadows, makeup, other people… And their faces are disappearing little by little…
Me – Version 5.0: Changes. They happen whether we like it or not. Even if we try to avoid them at all costs.
At some point we put so much effort into creating the image we currently have. And it has been giving us a comfortable sense of ‘self’ and the feeling of ‘hitting the mark’ perfectly. So, now we are passionately determined, almost desperate, to keep this self-reflecting image frozen forever.
One of the attributes of youth is the anticipation of change, curiosity and eagerness for what lies ahead. So, when thoughts about the future cease being exciting and the changes are not welcomed anymore – isn’t this in fact a sign of getting old?
PS. After writing this blog and realising that we needed to add our photos, we asked a professional photographer Nadi Bird to take our pictures and make sure that we look good! 🙂
You can see Nadi’s works on Instagram and Facebook.
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In the ever-evolving world of online dating, Discord has become a surprising but popular platform for individuals seeking romantic connections. Discord dating servers cater to a wide range of interests, providing a space for people to meet, chat, flirt, and explore potential relationships. These digital spaces, from general dating communities to servers designed for specific age groups, offer a unique environment for online dating, blending casual interaction with the potential for deeper connections. However, with these opportunities come certain risks and complexities that users must navigate carefully. In this guide, we explore the allure and dangers of Discord dating platforms, providing essential tips for a safe and positive online dating experience.
What Are Discord Dating Servers?
Discord dating communities are online spaces dedicated to fostering romantic relationships or casual connections among members. These servers offer a platform where users can join virtual spaces to meet others, engage in discussions, share personal experiences, and even plan virtual or real-life meetups. The flexibility of Discord allows for both text and voice-based interactions, creating an engaging and immersive experience for users.
These servers cater to a wide array of age groups and interests, including general dating servers for all adults, as well as specialized spaces for younger audiences, such as Discord Dating Servers for ages 13–16. This segmentation helps users find communities that align with their personal preferences and comfort zones.
Why People Are Drawn to Discord Dating Servers
The appeal of Discord Dating Servers lies in their blend of accessibility, anonymity, and the potential for meaningful connections. Unlike more formal dating apps, Discord offers a casual and spontaneous environment where people can interact without the pressure of lengthy profiles or rigid matchmaking algorithms. Users can join servers based on shared interests or age groups, allowing them to form genuine connections in a way that feels more organic.
Additionally, Discord’s real-time communication features, such as voice chats, instant messaging, and live interaction, foster more natural conversations and better rapport than traditional dating apps. For younger users, Discord Dating Servers offer a safer alternative to mainstream dating apps, providing a controlled environment with active moderation to ensure the safety and well-being of participants.
The Potential Risks of Discord Dating Servers
While Discord Dating Servers can be an exciting space for online dating, they are not without their risks. Users need to remain vigilant and aware of the potential dangers that come with interacting in digital spaces.
Privacy Concerns
Since Discord does not enforce strict identity verification, users may unknowingly expose themselves to privacy risks. Personal details such as location, contact information, or social media profiles shared in servers can be misused. It’s crucial to avoid sharing sensitive information with strangers, especially in spaces with minimal oversight.
Predatory Behavior
The anonymity provided by online platforms like Discord can encourage predatory behavior, particularly towards vulnerable individuals, such as minors. Even though moderation and age restrictions are implemented, online dating on Discord still carries a risk of exploitation and grooming. Users must be cautious and proactive in safeguarding themselves against such threats.
Inappropriate Content
Certain Discord Dating Servers, especially those for adults, may contain explicit or inappropriate content. Though moderators work to maintain a safe environment, it’s important for users to be mindful of the community guidelines and report violations promptly to protect themselves and others from harmful material.
Tips for Safely Navigating Discord Dating Servers
Despite the risks, there are several ways users can protect themselves and enjoy the benefits of Discord Dating Servers safely.
Verify Server Legitimacy
Before joining any Discord Dating Server, make sure to verify its credibility. Check user reviews, server policies, and community guidelines. Opt for servers with active moderation and clear rules to ensure a secure and enjoyable experience.
Protect Your Personal Information
Never share sensitive personal details like your full name, address, or phone number on Discord Dating Servers. Always exercise caution when interacting with others and avoid disclosing information that could jeopardize your privacy or safety.
Establish Boundaries
Clearly communicate your personal boundaries with others on Discord. Respect other users’ boundaries and avoid engaging in behavior that makes anyone uncomfortable. If you experience harassment or inappropriate conduct, report it to the server moderators.
Be Cautious With Voice Chats
While voice chats can help you connect on a deeper level, it’s important to be cautious when talking to strangers. Avoid revealing any personal details that could put you at risk and remember that voice interactions can still be recorded or misused.
Report Violations
If you encounter inappropriate content or suspicious behavior, don’t hesitate to report it to the server moderators or Discord’s Trust & Safety team. Proactively reporting violations helps maintain a safer environment for everyone in the community.
The Future of Online Dating on Discord
Discord Dating Servers offer a unique and dynamic way to engage in online dating, where users can connect with others based on shared interests and values. While these communities provide exciting opportunities for forming meaningful relationships, it’s essential to approach online dating on Discord with caution. By staying aware of privacy concerns, setting clear boundaries, and reporting harmful behavior, users can have a positive and safe experience. As online dating continues to evolve, it’s important to prioritize safety and well-being, ensuring that every interaction remains respectful and secure in the digital space.
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